The culture of a place mostly influences the behaviour of that place or space. In our organisations, circles and the society at large, our behaviours are mostly defined by our belief system. Our belief system is deeply rooted in our history. Our history, though passed, is a force whose impact still shapes our society today. To change anything worthwhile about our lives and find a real meaning or lasting success, revisiting our history is mostly recommended.
However, the culture of a place or organisations, mostly entrenched in the belief system of its leaders or owner, based on what they believe to be right or wrong, and these defined cultures are enforced by its leadership.
For example, some cultures accept children from age 12 to be ready for marriage and betrothed to an adult, even though he already had two or three wives.
Such mean culture, demeaning to womanhood and to reduce the worth of a girl child to something that can be used while depriving the child of her right to experience proper adolescence, become a proper adult whose service is not to her new lord and forced lover but who who has a right to dream, have ambitions and become incredibly great and super successful in her chosen field. Instead she will have to face the daunting challenges of marriage and dealing with other wives and their children. Imagine the sudden over-maturity and responsibility that has been placed on such a child. Denying her proper growth and transitioning. Never having the chance to find herself and know who she is yet. Such cultures are the reason why the plight of women are not respected and totally deprived of their rights today
Breaking the bias against women I believe is a cultural leadership problem and will require a journey.
To build a house, you must start from its foundation. Foundations are simply basic and fundamental requirements or principles without which something cannot stand or hold. So, to break the bias as a wall put up by the society against women, which defines the way they view women, accept them, identify with them and control their narratives, a cultural leadership problem must be solved.
A journey that must begin from the recesses of our homes(family), At home; where we have our privacy and do whatever we deem fit within the boundaries of our choices and decisions based on our belief system and culture. This journey begins when a child is still very delicate and needs more care and attention. It is in paying attention to how we raise our girls as not any different from the way a boy child is nurtured.
It requires leadership responsibility, both in the home and from those in public services. The socio-cultural factors that enable the right environment where children can thrive and be properly developed. Policies that focus on the disparity between the way the society perceives women and how sometimes, our warped parenting ideologies must be corrected and we become receptive to newer perceptions.
Our leadership process must be thorough, such that we must improve upon the failure of the previous generation, without camouflaging their weaknesses. We must be artistic in our approach to create something of intricate workmanship, curated carefully and consciously forged with detailed attention, well rounded and informed with pure refinement. This, sometimes, is what raising a child takes. It's like a piece of art, every detail is important as they could either make or mar the life of that child. We have fashioned another creature for society to deal with.
I believe we cannot be perfect in this but we can try our best and be consciously raising our child. We must divorce from archaic ideologies that's not progressive but also we must put a line between what progressive means and what it identifies as.
This brings me to Vygotsky's Theory of Cognitive Development. It talks about the four elementary mental functions which explain that if a child is going to develop a higher cognitive function, these four learning elements must be in place. It explains how our culture as it relates to our environment and the society where a child grows up influences the behaviour of the child.
Vygotsky, a renowned Psychologist on the development of children used the example of a twin, raised in a community where boys are expected to learn and succeed while girls are allowed to be pretty. At 10 months of age, they both can crawl and they are in the age of Proximal Development for learning how to stand on their feet.
“The zone of proximal development is the distance between what a learner is capable of doing unsupported, and what they can do supported. It is the range where they are capable only with support support from someone with more knowledge or expertise” (Wikipedia)
Now, the More Knowledgeable Other, as Vygotsky calls it- in this case, the father, provides the boy child with the opportunity to practise in a playroom well equipped with scaffolding and other objects. The boy is encouraged to explore the equipment and eventually, he uses it to pull himself up. A few hours later, he's cruising along with the structures and then, a few days later, he's standing on his feet. The girl also has the potential to stand up but does not receive any support in learning the skill.
When we compare the two, while the girl is still trying to get up, the boy has moved into a new zone. He knows how to balance while standing and now has the potential to learn how to walk. Both will eventually learn how to walk but the boy will be more skilled.
The same principle applies to the world of learning and the development of higher cognitive functions. Only those learning with their capable mentor can reach the potential of their full ability. (Source: Sprouts Development)
How many girls are in the same situation as these twins?
The Serena sisters are a great example today of learning with a Capable Mentor- their father, who also filled the role of 'The More Knowledgeable Other'(Mentor)
Their father did not consider having two girls as being disadvantaged, in a world where they underscored and undermined the person of a female child and their roles as regards to what they can do, become and attain. Rather, they see a male child as one over everything. King Richard trained his daughters and taught them as he would a boy child. The result is obvious to all. As of today, their names are everywhere and edged at the cap of their achievements is the name of their father, King Richard, as is widely known.
The power on the inside of them is the mental training they had, the confidence that was built in them, and the wealth of skill attests to their success, affluence and influence in the world of sport. It further puts out our flame of fear, that there is no difference in what any child can become when they have the same quality of care and attention heavily focused on developing their mental strength, cognitive skills, emotional intelligence and their skill sets.
I once met the First Female Journalist of Ghana (of blessed memory)who told me her life story. How her father didn't deem it fit for her to go to school as their culture was in those days, simply because she's a girl. Yet the father sent every male child to school. She educated herself in every way until she became the first female Journalist in Ghana.
Our society and culture have robbed women of their true potential and value for generations, from the shores of Africa to the modern hub of the West.
But, how can we change the narrative?
This evil persists in many underdeveloped countries today but reveals itself in more subtle ways in developed nations. Much more prevalent in Africa and Asia. If Africa is going to arise and be the giant that it is, we must pay attention to leveraging on the capital investments that nature has put in women, not by default but by design, starting from our homes and families. We must give our children the same right to life, education and opportunities. Such girls grow up to be strong powerful women who influence their society positively and the same is passed down to the next generation. In consequence, we create a ripple effect whose impact will outlive us and reach far beyond the span of our years.
We must re-educate ourselves and re-evaluate the socio-cultural factors surrounding a child’s place in the society and their implications on a child, especially how they impact the potentials of a child, irrespective of gender.
If we are going to raise children that would find their feet and fit in this world and times, we must change the way we think and behave towards them. Else, we will be recycling the old with its errors and never move ahead into a future where they can fit and find swift relevance. This will only continue a cycle of limitations, old mindsets and poverty.
More importantly, in our homes, organisations, circles and society at large, we must ponder really deeply on the worth and value of women and their contributions to society. This will help us to see what we get with and without them. Then we can understand their true and real value. This is what I shall be sharing with you in the next blog coming after this.
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